Starting this blog so...

It's 8th Feb 2014. Or to be technical the 9th of February. I started this blog with you as the co author here. I wish we could survive the coming 385days to the BigDay

Baby, that's too many thing that I like to tell you that have to remain in my mind, too many things that stuck over Facetime, and my stupid connection. All I want to do now is just to be with you. I hate distance, I hate that we are again defeated by distance, by technology. I hate that we always have little time to talk when we need it the most. And then time became our distance.

All the time, when I am feeling fragile, whenever I am emotionally weak, I thought, why, why are you not here by side, I picture myself sleeping around your arms, I picture myself embrace in your hug, and then all my problems will be staying far away. That all I need is you.  nothing else but you.

But it seems like the world is against me now. It seems like I am drowning, having a hard time to catch a breath. and then you have to go offline because it's late

That's a symphony playing in my mind, not a calm and peaceful one though...I wish.

I started this blog so...

....so I can rant about things revolving this Project Wedding,
....so I can tell you my mind, when distance being distance, or when time turn into distance
....so I can tell you how much I miss you
....so I can show you my love, the way I love to

and then at least I have a emotional trash hole.

Baby, what happen in this blog stays in this blog.
Add a new post, speak out your mind. Join me, write down your mind, be my co-author of this blog, be my co-author of the rest of my life.

This is unbelievably therapeutic, try it.


Just before I end a bad day with a bad way.

I guess a prayer ending will be perfect.

Dear Lord, my father.
As The Day is drawing nearer, we pray for wisdom in making decision of life, the right decision to not only pleasing ourself, not pleasing our parent's, not for our joy, nor our parent's pride, but to Glory you O, Lord.
We want to see light of you in our marriage, in my life. we want our marriage to be able to manifest your love, your light and your wisdom. We want to live an image of you.  All we want is a simple marriage, but it seems like this wedding is indeed not about us, it's about 2 family, and it involve a lot of kaching kaching $$$.
We believe that God provides, and He provides abundantly. With this, I just like to pray for wisdom for Ken and I to spend on our wedding, the way that God pleased.
Grant us patient is dealing with each other, dealing with family and friends. Grant us love, Dear Lord, we are so poor in love that we thirst for it. God teach me how to love, humbly and unworldly. Teach me how not to put money as a bug that consistently bugging my head, that little devil, in Jesus name I kill you, you satan, the satan of money, the satan of comparison, the satan of conditioned love. In Jesus name, I asked you to leave us forever and never come back.
Lord have mercy on us, that we will have victory over the battle of money and love.

Abba Father, as I pray, I would like to uphold my lover Ken in this prayer, that God you have mercy on your son, you will grant me a new breakthrough in his career, it could be a good mentor, a good opportunity,   a good timing, it could be anything God, we might not know it yet, but God you are the ruler of all things, you have a plan for him, your son. I pray that God, you help him to regain his faith in you, just like how he was when he was a student in The States, like how he used to be. Make him a prayer, have faith in the power of prayer. That he will once again stand up and speak testimony of you.

Dear Lord, help me to become the women who knows how to assist, to support, to love and respect him through thick and thin. Grant me the wisdom to be a godly women, a good women.

Lord Jesus, we are weak, and we are helpless, we need you, O Lord. We thank you for the authority of the sonship and authority to pray. Thank you Lord, In Jesus name, we pray. Amen.

The night that we didn't say Goodbye on FT.