A few weeks before his arrival, my a-romantic man asked if I can spare a slot during his 3 days trip in KL, so he can propose to me.
I was like *doink*, shouldn't this be a surprise?!
But here you go, my super boyfriend, naturally cute like this, not really an expert in surprise making.
He promise to improve, which is quiet comforting for me to look forward in the future.
Highlight of that night:
Despite knowing that it's going to be the proposal night, and have to pretend that I do not know anything about it, which is taking quite a bit of the acting part of me, I wanted him to dress in a nicer pair of jeans, since this is will be a special occasion, but he insisted to wear the pants with the weirdest length. (I now declare I hate that pants, please do not wear it anymore! I will buy you new pants.) He even yell at his mum, for fear that the mum is making his big plan *kantoi* He is cutely ngong like that, oh my boy...
Well I was expecting a proposal but seriously I have no idea what's going to happen. I know Rachel and my sisters are involved, but that's all. I was truly shock when I see the KY crowds all around...but prior to that, WenJie is too obvious to be notice with that fedora and the guitar, blame your height, I guess you must.
The song he made, which he later admit was too much of a canto pop...actually makes me tear abit in the video if you could notice. The lyric is so 1970s, but ya...I think it was the verse that touch me. Maybe you should retouch the song a little bit more.
I know I couldn't ask for more, I know it's the heart and the efforts that count, I want to give thanks for trying, please don't give up and keep surprising me.
I want to give thanks to my sisters, and everyone who came to witness this special moment, Evie for capturing this video and the rapid post production, Michelle and Becky for the DSLR pro shots. Thanks for all the sweet memory!
We promise to learn and improve and strive on this happy journey.
I appreciate your effort to reply =) a comment to show your care.
So if you really care to read, you will, after all this is not a task...
I just thought this is a sweet thing to have between us.
If life caught you too busy, I would love to believe that
it's the wedding that kept your hand tight.
it's ok, if you don't read, don't have time to read or etc...
I rather know the truth than sweet lies
Actually it's not OK, you have to attentively read, and
know what is happening in me and my life, and my mind.
unless you don't care...or you think this is just another brainless thing I do.
So when I talk to you, I know you care about me and care about what is happening
Sometime we are both too caught up with things in life, I might not have all day with you
to tell you about how I feel, and what has happen, same goes to you,
So these here, too serve the same function,
I always long for some deeper conversation.
Spending years together shouldn't be just about, what did you eat today?
I want to know you more...always
and hope you can help me to know myself better too...
besides what have make my stomach fill today...
It could be more, it could be deeper...
Well someone has been taking this blog quite lightly recently.
I could tell why, as someone has been busy managing his money making post on FB.
Baby, I know it has been hard to say good bye to some of your once hopeful piece of instrument,
I know it has been time and energy consuming to sort out the store room and get all the junk out and sell it off.
But it will be all worth while whenever I hear from you that another piece is sold.
I know you have been doing all these for the wedding expenses.
Thank you baby, for all the hard work.
Keep it up.
One day we will get all the instrument back, ok?
When we have our own place, I will spare you a home studio, ok?
Hi 2014, it's been real quick, you are now 58 days old.
Well on this beginning of March, as a great commencement,
I want to thank the Lord for giving my baby an opportunity to serve you as a worship leader.
Being a musician, he has always ready to dedicate his time and talent for you Lord.
May he grow faithfully in the position and serve humbly as Your servant,
Lord, please grant him great favour from all the member of the team, and wisdom as he leads them.
I pray for him a heart of love and patience, a heart of worship and praise.
As we serve we pray for the Holy Spirit to be with us, guide us in situations.
God, our almighty God, thank you for everything you gave us.
Precious God, we love you.
Another round of Jung DaYeon.
A full set, on a guilty night after full moon party over eat, at 11pm
30 good minutes, I have endures.
So tomorrow will be my last day of my 40 days fasting of coffee.
I guess I will still reduce my coffee intake as I am taking it quite well now,
maybe I can cut it down to once a week thing, at max 2 cups on a week.
Seeing I can finish the tea bags over load at home.
Well with ending of one 40days, meaning another great beginning of endurance.
I am still thinking of carb, like rice...or desert...maybe carb...or both.
Well, baby...it will be your break free day after tomorrow too.
So you may eat 牛腩 as you like, unless you still want to control it.
It's weekend again, and my baby will usually be super busy around this time of the week.
Now since February seems to be a quiet month, I spend most of my time staying home.
I guess this is how God prepare me to enter into the "wife" stage of life.
Well, I am not sure what is God's plan laying ahead of me, but I am pretty sure, it's got to be the best plan of all.
So Jasmine incident is still revolving in my mind, I pray that God can enlighten me in this matter, dear God, what is the lesson you like me to learn from it, and please grant me wisdom and a spirit of wisdom in handling this issue and dealing with my best friend. God, I do not want to do things that I will regret for the rest of my life, God I want to make you proud on each of my move, let me rely on you, I need you for your comfort and for your help. I pray again for a spirit of wisdom, so it can free me from the resonance of this stories. Free me. In Jesus name I pray.
Thanks to baby, and thanks to this Wedding preparation, I have kinda figure out the way to deal with my mum.
I think I I have hit a great success today.
So I mentioned that I like to bring her to a movie, The Journey, last Friday, but we couldn't make it.
She asked me this morning, let's go watch movie, I bet the movie has got a good review in the pasar too.
We went out for movie, I prepared 2 pieces of cloths, one cape for myself and a piece of AirAsia blanket in a bag. I told her before we hop on the car, that I brought one for her, she replied immediately, 我都唔惊冷。Fine, I keep it to myself, I said, Just incase. I could have just say, don't lie, we know you well enough, 一阵你舞好同我拿。 That would be the usual conversation.
Anyway I am glad that I applied the law of listens fast and speaks slow. At the end, I past her the roll of blanket in the cinema, she took it and use it as a neck rest, then later she lay it open and cover herself as she felt colder.
She even noticed her wiping her tears along the movie. I started to put more notice on her, trying to read her subtext.
I invited her to go check out the Noble House during lunch, if she is not too tired. She went with me, we walk up the staircase, but it was rest time for the restaurant, so we don't get to see the banquet hall that much. I spoke to Peggy Lee, the supervisor. I gave way to mummy before we leave, to ask any questions she is. I think that gesture makes her feel precious.
So, score there again.
We went home, and I offer to help her to cook the 罗汉斋 she planned to cook, but she resist due to tiredness. I felt it's just the right decision to make, cause now I know how to cook this dish, one of my baby's favourable dish, I can make it for him.
I am so happy.
I wish The Journey is still screening when baby gets here, then I can bring you and your mum to watch this very nice local film. and I wish I can find a timeslot to cook for you too.
2 Timothy 1:7New King James Version (NKJV)7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
唔怕蚀底 ， 你就赚咗"
This quote was kind of a legacy my dad left to me on my very innocent 纪念册. (Maybe I should really dick that stuff out of don't know which one treasure box of mine) It was during my primary school days that I kept that book. Yes. It make all sense now, was out with Vivian this afternoon when she express how envy she was that I have a lot of friends, these I must admit, friends of all kind, you can't avoid having rotten apple in the basket full, can you? For God has not give us a spirit of fear- So my darling, fear not in all things...in our future undertaking, in marriage ( with me the lovely lady,of course), in your career, in money, in health, in baby bearing...and all.... Have faith with Him, for He has given us the Power, the Love and a Sound Mind....We can do all things in Him. Thank you papa, Fearless Den + Fearless Ken
Yes I bet that's how I was like all these years, Fearless of losing, losing anything in any sense.
Yes, you bet I was hurt, many times, I was beaten down to the grown, defeated with the cruelness of every mankind. and so you asked, how then you say you gain, how then you become the winner?
It's all about perspective, you gained things that it's beyond worth, you just don't easily realised it, you gain friendship, you gain true love, you gain wisdom, It's through losing, and fear not of losing, you through know how losing feels like then you feel the gain, the fruit of fearless, which could be as abundance as you will name it
Because why? because for God has given us a spirit of Power and of Love and of a Sound Mind. Thank you Abba Father.
And again I failed, I felt so stupid after the call. I failed being capable to make you a happy boyfriend.
I think I just make you more stressful, but all I want is you to be here
and I can cry on your shoulder, instead of crying alone on my bed.
It's 8th Feb 2014. Or to be technical the 9th of February. I started this blog with you as the co author here. I wish we could survive the coming 385days to the BigDay
Baby, that's too many thing that I like to tell you that have to remain in my mind, too many things that stuck over Facetime, and my stupid connection. All I want to do now is just to be with you. I hate distance, I hate that we are again defeated by distance, by technology. I hate that we always have little time to talk when we need it the most. And then time became our distance.
All the time, when I am feeling fragile, whenever I am emotionally weak, I thought, why, why are you not here by side, I picture myself sleeping around your arms, I picture myself embrace in your hug, and then all my problems will be staying far away. That all I need is you. nothing else but you.
But it seems like the world is against me now. It seems like I am drowning, having a hard time to catch a breath. and then you have to go offline because it's late
That's a symphony playing in my mind, not a calm and peaceful one though...I wish.
I started this blog so...
....so I can rant about things revolving this Project Wedding,
....so I can tell you my mind, when distance being distance, or when time turn into distance
....so I can tell you how much I miss you
....so I can show you my love, the way I love to
and then at least I have a emotional trash hole.
Baby, what happen in this blog stays in this blog.
Add a new post, speak out your mind. Join me, write down your mind, be my co-author of this blog, be my co-author of the rest of my life.
This is unbelievably therapeutic, try it.
Just before I end a bad day with a bad way.
I guess a prayer ending will be perfect.
Dear Lord, my father.
As The Day is drawing nearer, we pray for wisdom in making decision of life, the right decision to not only pleasing ourself, not pleasing our parent's, not for our joy, nor our parent's pride, but to Glory you O, Lord.
We want to see light of you in our marriage, in my life. we want our marriage to be able to manifest your love, your light and your wisdom. We want to live an image of you. All we want is a simple marriage, but it seems like this wedding is indeed not about us, it's about 2 family, and it involve a lot of kaching kaching $$$.
We believe that God provides, and He provides abundantly. With this, I just like to pray for wisdom for Ken and I to spend on our wedding, the way that God pleased.
Grant us patient is dealing with each other, dealing with family and friends. Grant us love, Dear Lord, we are so poor in love that we thirst for it. God teach me how to love, humbly and unworldly. Teach me how not to put money as a bug that consistently bugging my head, that little devil, in Jesus name I kill you, you satan, the satan of money, the satan of comparison, the satan of conditioned love. In Jesus name, I asked you to leave us forever and never come back.
Lord have mercy on us, that we will have victory over the battle of money and love.
Abba Father, as I pray, I would like to uphold my lover Ken in this prayer, that God you have mercy on your son, you will grant me a new breakthrough in his career, it could be a good mentor, a good opportunity, a good timing, it could be anything God, we might not know it yet, but God you are the ruler of all things, you have a plan for him, your son. I pray that God, you help him to regain his faith in you, just like how he was when he was a student in The States, like how he used to be. Make him a prayer, have faith in the power of prayer. That he will once again stand up and speak testimony of you.
Dear Lord, help me to become the women who knows how to assist, to support, to love and respect him through thick and thin. Grant me the wisdom to be a godly women, a good women.
Lord Jesus, we are weak, and we are helpless, we need you, O Lord. We thank you for the authority of the sonship and authority to pray. Thank you Lord, In Jesus name, we pray. Amen.